(Office print/copy/fax room; C is staring at the printer as B enters)
B
Big print job, C?
C
10 pages.
(B & C continue staring at the printer)
B
Do you have anything lined up for May 15?
(C opens her planner)
B
It's a Saturday.
C
Dentist at 2:30.
B
I was thinking we could get married then.
C
I dunno, B. Saturday appointments are hard to get. I don't want to have to reschedule. Who knows when I'd get back in!
B
I hear ya. Well maybe we could do it later that afternoon.
C
I'll pencil it in.
B
Ooooh, the light's blinking.
C
Shouldn't it be doing something?
B
Maybe it's warming up.
C
I think it is warmed up. It just printed something. You think it's jammed?
B
How would I know?
C
You know all that PC stuff.
B
I just know how to look things up. RTFM, you know?
C
No, I don't.
B
You know, Read The...
C
Huh?
B
Read The, um Fine... ?
(A enters and interrupts)
A
FUCKIN' MANUAL! Haw haw! Did my job print yet?
B
'Sup A. I sent my job like ten minutes ago and nothing's happening.
C
My job's stuck too.
A
(Looking at the printer)
Which of you's 8 1/2 by 14?
(B and C stare blankly at A)
A
8 1/2 by 14 inch paper — legal size?
C
That's regular paper, right?
A
No, you're thinking letter size. Somebody sent a legal size job and the legal size tray is empty.
(B and C stare blankly at A)
A
Maybe one of you should go get more 8 1/2 by 14.
C
Well I don't use that weird paper. Who do I look like, D?
B
Fine, I'll get some.
(B leaves to fetch legal size paper)
(A and C stare at the printer)
A
So what've you got going on the weekend after next?
C
Dunno. What's up?
A
I was thinking if you're free maybe you'd be amenable to marrying me.
C
Hmm. That's, what April 10th, 11th? I'll have to check to see if my folks are available.
A
Yeah, OK. Whatever's good with you.
C
I'll give 'em a call and let you know. Might be fun.
(B returns with legal sized paper)
B
Where's this go?
A
Tray two.
(B struggles with the paper trays; A takes the paper away from him)
A
Gimme that.
(A starts loading the legal-sized paper into the printer)
C
Oh B, just a heads-up. A just proposed so I'm thinking of taking things in a different direction.
B
I really think the synergies between us could result in a highly successful partnership. It has exciting potential upsides.
C
How about bigamy or adultery?
B
The former's probaby off the table, though let me double-check with Legal, and I can't say the latter would be agreeable.
A
I'm up for the latter.
C
Let's take it offline, A.
B
Oooh it's blinking!